Children: one daughter 18 years
Toughest part / mistakes / regrets:
As a dad I think I have a responsibility to know what my children are supposed to be. I might not know specifically that she will be an x or y, but I believe I should have enough insight with God to know if certain jobs / careers are a fit for her or not.
From that viewpoint my most difficult part / regrets have been not being or helping her be disciplined enough to pursue goals that we have set together. The child will get tired, but as her dad I should keep the goals in mind because there is a reward if she keeps on course. You can't be a track star if you never train. And you'll never be great if someone in your corner doesn't say 'keep trying' when you lose a match. And it is easy to hear mummy say try something else, but there is a balance between “try something else” and push through and excel at this thing you are doing that is hard to work through at times.
Recently she said to me, I'm glad you're my dad. That was a big one especially for a teenager.
Secondly she shared a song which impacted her which says, I want a man who loves me, like my dad loves my mom
Words of advice:
The bible says fathers do not exasperate your children. So remember your child has a mind, so instead of assuming they forgot to do x, or deliberately disobeyed y, ask them what happened first. You might get surprised that they were doing something for you. And asking for their reasoning gives them space to know daddy really cares about what they think and not just the rules.
However there are rules. We can't let our children get by with what they feel all the time. Exceptions are NOT rules. And fortunately or unfortunately we dads seem to be the ones necessary to be that person in the family.
Respect your child's mother, no matter how good or bad the relationship is, showing how a real man relates, stands up, and submits is very important for our children to see.